Quote of the Day :)

It's easier to expose what's on the outside than what's on the inside......

Think about it...:)

Departure

The last time meeting Mei at Bistro with the girls didn't strike me that I was going to feel anything when she left. I mean how long has it been since she came back and I was already getting the hang of them coming and going. I mean the girls who are abroad. They come back for a month at the most and just as abrubtly as they come home they leave but this time when we were about to depart into our respective vehicles, there she stood and we hugged. Saying our goodbyes. But for some reason, this time I really didn't want her to go.

We hugged countless of times, four I think it was but that still didn't cut it. I mean four hugs till the next time I see you again? Which would be easily another year or more. I mean it's been a year and a half since I last saw her, then she came back for a month then leave again. I mean I didn't spend my entire month with her, both busy with our own schedules but sometimes I wish I could have all of them back here again. Just like how the old times were. I miss them so much. Sooks, Mei, Ame, Grace. I really do.

And I swear I was close to tears and that would be an achievement for me to actually be able to sum up any emotion whatsoever, but after I drove of, I felt empty but all i could do was shrug it off. But now a couple of days later, I'm feeling it. I miss the girls company. Being able to just be extremely honest with someone without bullshiting. That's who they are to me. I don't have to hide or lie or to be pretensive. I can just be me and I know they will still love me.

Sometimes I feel like it would take a miracle for all of them to come back at the same time of the year.....

Feeling Bliss :)

All I see right now is rainbows and butterflies.....weeeeeeeeee.....:)

I don't think I remember being this happy in a long long time thanks to a certain someone. But then again I am an extremely dificult person to please so for someone to make me this happy I guess it has to be something. Or it's just the fresh happiness. Like when something new embarks on it's journey, you can't help but feeling complete blissfullness in your life, till it dies out la.

Then it's sad......( that's when it dies out)

But then again rethinking my entire life, I don't think I would make any ammends in it. I mean you become what you are right now because of past experiences may it be good or bad. One thing I so happen to realize also is that when I was with Giresh I could never remember the happy times or the littlest thing he would do for me but now that we are apart, I find myself remembering all the tiny accounts of what he has done and can't help but smiling to myself.

Maybe he wasn't that bad after all, I mean put aside all the rubbish I had to put up with but then again there were quite a few happy moments. Like how he could see me stuffing my face with a burger or chips which is mind you revolting the way I can eat sometimes but yet he can still call it cute and adorable. I bet no other guy can actually do that. See a girl stuffing her face with a bag of chips lazing around like a guy and find that adorable.

Yes, we women or girls are pretty much human still. We dig our nostrils when no one's looking and we fart when no one's hearing. Or when we're actually comfortable enough around someone to fart. Burping is no exception. It is after all my favourite past time actually to be able to let out the biggest loudest burp always trying to beat rafique to it and if a guy can't handle it then he's so not worth it. I mean common whatdo you expect? For us to be all dainty and sweet not burping or farting or even picking our boogers and admiring it :)

We do it as much as you do it. And it's fun.

Thought of the Day

I am a demanding and selfish person but if I care and love you enough I would make pigs jump through flaming hoops just for you. The thing is, are you capable of making me love you that much? or will i just get hurt along the process.

Difficult Times

Today or more like yesterday I decided I should actually put my thoughts down unto paper or in this context blog it all out. Yes, rant to the world or whoever that's interested to read my rants.

This is a new beginning, so why not begin a new chapter with something completely new such as blogging.

To begin my new chapter, one extremely dreadfuly depressing day I decided to take a walk. Although I was with company I felt like being alone to clear my thoughts. At that very moment I was walking towards Subang Square I decided to be bold and get a completely new hair cut or more like I began with the intensions of getting a hair wash. You know something relaxing and pampering. That was the how the hiar cut came about. Still think it makes me look so cina.

Although I am a noisy and talkative person in nature I have a tendency of keeping deeper things to myself. Things I do not like sharing with the world which have a tendency to lead to confusion. That is how I get into my depression state.

So that was the start, till I went to Phuket recently and saw a tattoo shop. Then for some reason out of no where I grew balls to get a tattoo. I mean I have wanted it for ages but never had the guts to do it. Oh well, the only reason I didn't chicken out was because Giresh didn't let me. He made me stay till it was done. Good thing though, I love the tattoo so much and am so proud that I finally got my "solemn fairy". The thing is now that I got a tattoo I feel so brave.

Perhaps with the sudden courage, I mean if I can endure the process of tattoooing I should be fine with everything else. Firstly, I want to get my tongue pierced. It was in the list of things I wanted to get since school. In the list includes 2 piercings on the left ear, 3piercings on the right, a nose stud, tongue piercing, belly piercing and my fairy tattoo. But I guess I'll rule out belly piercing since it seems very outdated. Maybe I'll still do it. We'll see.

Definately tongue piercng first before belly. I can only imagine tongue piercing to hurt more. Besides all the piercings, I would like to bungy jump. Like I said, why not. I have the guts now. I just endured the feeling of a guy dragging a blade through my skin. What else can hurt more?

But then again,if I were to do it, I can only imagine my parents worrying that something is. Oh well couldn't be the least bothered. The only thing is, resources are low. Damn it! I guess everytime I'm in an uncomfortable situation I do something extreme. The last time it happen I had my ears pierced countless of times and then my nose stud. Bloody emo right?

So yes the tongue piercing is next to come. Let's hope soon before the balls I grew disapear. Then when I get my ideal weight back with tons of exercise I shall get the belly piercing.

Now, let's see when my next update would actually be me posting all of the above=)